I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The uberlube is also flammable
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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