I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
