I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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