I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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