so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize