I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
