Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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