Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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