i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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