all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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