do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
