Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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