so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
