I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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