I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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