u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
