Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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