At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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