I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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