how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
