She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
