So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
