Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
