You know, be my cock's hype man.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
