We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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