You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
