It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
