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What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
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