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• (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating

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• (858): View more from California

  I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?

  (406): View more from Montana

  Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.

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• (530): View more from California

  Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I pour the whiskey from now on

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• (408): View more from California

  Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.

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