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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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• (914): View more from New York

  friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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• (936): View more from Texas

  If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.

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  27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.

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• (831): View more from California

  So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.

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