woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
