i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
