Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
