i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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