Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
