My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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