Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
