Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Mom said you looked used
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
