we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'