So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I could fuck to npr.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
