That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.