woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
