So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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