I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize