I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
