So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
