I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
