FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
