first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
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So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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