dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
