some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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