I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
