You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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