Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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