He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
