**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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