Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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