jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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