I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
