I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
