I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
