Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
