just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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