I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
