Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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